The Man With The Gold Blobs

Written by Entropy

Yea, I know I'm a bit early. Haloween is still two months away, but I don't care. It seems most of the movies I've seen the past month have had a horror theme to them. This month's edition of my review column will be a bit shorter, due to the fact that I've been really busy with stuff, and haven't really seen as many movies as I should. Sorry. Next month will be better, much better, I promise. I hope you enjoy the Blood Motif I opted to go for with this edition. It took lots of time and thought to come up with this, and I think it's rather clever :)

Blade is one of my favorite Marvel Comic Book heroes. He's one of their few dark super heros. When I first saw a preview for it during a movie I think the exact phrase that came to mind was something like, "Holy @#$%! That's gonna be the %$#@!". I have never been a Wesley Snipes fan, but I thought that if anyone could pull off playing the role of Blade, it'd be him. Prior to seeing the film, on my local news station, I caught an interview with Wesley about Blade and one thing he said caught my attention. It was somethin to the affect of, "This movie is diffrent from other action flicks in the fact that you actually grow attached to the charecters". I am still wondering what he was smoking to cause him to say that. For those of you that don't know, here's the deal with Blade. There is a society of Vampires that live among us, for the most part the vampires don't mind staying hidden, and living with the humans. Some on the other hand beleive they should be ruling. Blade was created when his mother was pregnant with him and she was attacked by a vampire. He's part human, part vampire. Consiquently Blade hates vampires and becomes a vampire hunter, which leads to many exciting adventures. The story places Blade against a young, rebelious vampire Frost, played wonderfully by Stephan Dorf. Frost is trying to bring an ancient vampire God to life so he can rule the world. Blade is ,of course, trying to stop him. Now that you know the story, I can start ripping it apart. I don't like Wesley Snipes, but he can do much better then this charceter. The charecter was so one deminsional. At the end you don't care weather or not he lives. The only charecter you grow to like is the bad guy, Frost. Stephan Dorf did a wonderful job playing Frost. The final duel between him and Blade, I hoped Blade would get his ass kicked by Frost. And I haven't even brought up the worst part of the movie yet, the computer generated special affects. They didn't look real at all. They looked cartoonist. But, like they say, every dark cloud has a silver bullet, or something like that, there were a few things I really liked about the movie. One, was Stephan Dorf. The next two things were the industrial techno sound track. The coreography was also brillant. The battle scenes were really nice, but if a battle wasn't going on, the movie dragged. The only thing that ruined the battle scenes were the incredibly corny special effects. Lesson number #1 from The Entropy School of Movie Making: Movies based on video games, or comic books suck!

Disturbing Behavior-
This film came highly recommended by RBF. He said he really enjoyed it, and after he said that, I was suprised I liked it too. For some reason this stroy seems very familar to me, I think there was an older movie dealing with the same thing, can't put my finger on it, so I don't care. In a suburnbun USA parenst are signing their slacker children up for a school weekend that will helpmotivate them, and make them all around model citizens. During this outing these kids undergo a variety of procedures that alter their personality, and pretty much reprogram them. There are a few draw backs to the procedure, though. One being that when the kid's hormones kick in, they can go a bit crazy. I can't forget to mention the "good guys" of the film. They overly rebelious kids that refuse to get poked and proded, and know something is up, and want to get to the bottom of it. Disturbing Behavior is just another one of these teenage movies dealing with fitting in, but it was done in a nice way. This movie was this summer's Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer. I found very few things wrong with it. The one thing I thought could of done better was that maybe the script could've been geared to focus on more things then what they just did. I don't think they focused enough on the parents or even the program. Other then that, it's a great movie, go see it.

Halloween: H20-
Nothing like wasting tons of money to do a half assed job at reserecting a classic. This is by far, the worst of the Halloween Series. There was nothing original with this one. Jamie Lee Curtis returns as her same role, just twenty years after the last. She has changed her name, moved, and taken up a job as head mistress at a snotty high school. After her last encounter with Mike Myers, she was left a bit shaken. She loads herself up on meds and alcohol. At the same ime she's trying to raise her teenage son. Here's the part you're not suspecting (extreme sarcasm), the high school goes on a trip, and a bunch of kids, and Jamie Lee Curtis decide to skip it. While no one is around, guess who returns? Mike Myers! Who woulda thunk it? Frome here on you now whathappens for the rest of the movie, in a very predictable way, everyone starts getting hacked up while the heros rty to stop him. Nothing new is brought in to the story. You don't leanr anything you didn't know before. If I go see a sequel, I want to learn something brand new, that will bring a new dimension to all the others, and make you think. Didn't happen here. If you really want to see a blood bath horror flick with Halloween in the title, go rent the original!

Evil Spawn-
What? You haven't seen previews for this movie? You haven't even heard of it?! That's ok, there's a reason for it. Evil Spawn is on home video, it's one of these cheap horror filmsthat were so popular back in the early 80's. Yea, I know, but I enjoy watching these things, they are really good for a laugh. (I think for now on, I'm going to include one movie that's on home video.) Here's a run down of the story. The main character is an ageing movie star. She's starting to lose movie roles to younger woman, this is upsetting her. In the mean time, a famous dermotologist is working on a potion to stop ageing, and apparently was getting really close when he died. Here's where the two converge. The doctor's assitant is pretty much stalking this actress, and she finishes up the potion to the best of her ability and gives itto the actress to help her better her career. Well, this potion causes the actress to turn into a bug creature at night that must eat people to survive. I told you these things were good for a laugh. Now, before I continue, I have to point out that I can't rate this film using the same calibre as Hollywood movies, it is a ssumed that these films are bad. A score of five Gold Blobs means that it's as good as a Jon Claude Van Dam movie. There is nothing about this film that sets it aside from all other films of it's type. It's story was pretty much that of all the other films on the shelf with this one. And if you're watching it for a good laugh, there's nothing that makes it even worse then the rest, to make it even more laughable. What I'm trying to say is, if you and a bunch of yourbuddies are hanging out one night, and want to rent a cheesey film that you can turn down the volume and do your own voice over, there's better ones Evil Spawn. End pointless review.

Entropy screams at the monitor, "No you fool!
Don't hit the back button!
There's a scarey guy with a mask
And a chain saw behind it!"

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